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I, Henry Hample, bequeath my great understanding of poetry, along with my lucky
rabbit's foot, to Miss Haupt.
I, Leona Smith, bequeath my tall, dark, and handsome cave man (Carolous Skelly, in
other words) and a new 1937 Canadian penny to anyone who will see that he wears his
overshoes on rainy days.
I, Helen McGienn, bequeath my sleepless nights to the Editor-in-Chief of the 1938
Yearbook.
I, Marion Wright, bequeath my crown of silver to Violet Osborne.
I, Elaine Taylor, bequeath my dancing ability to Dorothy Wheeler.
I, Betty Hough, desiring that gum chewing be saved from the lost arts, bequeath my
exceptional facility in this art to Doris Broich.
To Robert Carroll and Billy VanTassel, we bequeath the "Five-Year Plan."
We, Mary O'Connell and Catherine O'Leary, endow our fund of intimate secrets to Jane
May and Gerry Gourley.
To Doris Baker, we bequeath Dick's blush to be kept as a fond memory.
To Charlotte Ewald and Charles Gantert, we grant peace in their "Garden of Eden"
without Adam.
To Miss King, most illustrious, kind, and gentle but firm co-mentor of our last voyage,
we bequeath a box of animal crackers to remind her of that year of circuses- the play–
the carnival - and our class.
To Mr. Stottle, steadfast, and sturdy co-mentor of our stormy senior year, we bequeath
two boxes of animal crackers, since he has a family and needs more.
•
TI:N YI:ARS FROM NOW
After ten years of wandering, I returned to Elmira to witness a circus put on by S.
H.
S.
graduates. I could hardly believe my eyes when upon entering the grounds I saw (almost
beyond belief ) Bob Porter opening his mouth and calling, "Cream puffs for sale." However,
when business was poor, he amused himself by writing elegies to his "Lost Oralie."
A little farther on, selling peanuts and demonstrating his unusual qualities, was none
other than our former Student Council president. I purchased a bag of these super-quality
peanuts from "our Dickie" and went on my way. The performers proved to be "The Three
Muskeete,s"-Betty, Roxy, and Hummy, who were doing wonders to the song, "I Love
Coffee, I Love Tea."
Next, I went to the "big tent." While I was purchasing my ticket, I heard someone
ask , "Could I get a special rate for my ten children?" My astonishment heightened when
saw that this timid inquirer was none other than Southside's heartbreaker, Johnny Barber.
However, before the show began, I became annoyed , along with other nearby spectators,
by sounds resembling a factory going into action (mildly exaggerated, of course). The
source of such muscular activity proved to be "dear ole' Mary Helen ," who was venting
(on pickles ) her anxiety over the apparent danger of the lion tamer , "Mope O'Connor."
An unusual feature was the fat lady Betty Colwell, who had gained six hundred pounds
in weight since I had last
see~
her. A spectacular feature of the performance was that of the
canine stars which were put throug.h their paces by their trainer, Virginia Leupelt.
Too numerous to mention were the other wonders of the show. However, among them
were: Arlene Tower, snake charmer ; Betty Jane Loomis, human skeleton ; Eddie Timbrel!,
sword swallower. The show was over too soon to appease my sense of humor. As I reluctantly
turned to leave, I noticed Abie Samuels passing his derby for donations to support a home for
blind mice. This was the last straw.
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