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THE DISSECTION OF A STUDENT'S HEAD
Having read "The Dissection of a Beau's Head"
by Addison and Steele, it occurred to me that the
dissection of a student's head would be of interest
to many of my confreres. Therefore, together with
two of my dearest friends, I hastened to the
gymnasium, where a tumbling class had just been
dismissed. We found it very simple to procure
there the head of an average student, a girl. With
great care we bore it to a secret room, where it
was placed on a velvet cloth. A strong light was
turned on overhead, and we began our dissection.
The brains, seen under a strong glass, appeared
to be a jumble of science, arithmetic, Latin, Eng–
lish , and history. Strange to note, little of each
could be found, the main ideas seeming to be
such as this:
Photosynthesis substracted from
2x+ 5y and cura-anxiety equals William Words–
worth plus the War of 1812.
The pineal gland, supposed to be the seat of
the soul, was odoriferous with violet water and
lavendar talcum. It was composed of hundreds of
eyes, se.eking bewilderedly for an exit among a
ma:ze of rooms and corridors which seemed to
have no outlet.
In the sinciput, a large cavity was filled with
"loud" socks, ear muffs, and hair ribbons. Yet
another cavity contained dance program, notes,
and caricatures of teachers. A third cavity had in
it the names of teachers easy to fool and known
to be completely harmless. There was also a black–
list of "tough" ones.
On each side of the head was a cavity which
was an important part of our observation. The one
on the right contained excuses written by the girl,
her best friends, her worst friends -written, in
fact, by everyone but her parents. Likewise, it
contained promises of made-up homework and
tests. The left cavity was stuffed with the latest
slang and popular songs. Canals led to basketball,
football, and baseball games, carnivals, clubs, and
dances.
It was interesting to note that the muscle of
the eyes showed much use, on account of her
habit of looking on all sides to be sure that no
ogre of a teacher was approaching. The nose
muscles showed a tendency to turn the nose up-
wards, a trick designed to attract boys, yet at the
same time repel them.
As for the outward appearance of the head, it
was like that of any sixteen-year-old girl: a pert
nose, slightly rouged lips, plucked eyebrows, a
nose white with powder, and hair fri:z:zed to such
a degree that she resembled a member of the
Ubangi tribe. We had already learned that, in
attempting a double split-flip, the girl had landed
on her head, which was unable to bear the shock.
As for her heart, she had none. Students are
kept so busy by parents and teachers that they
become mere automats, lacking hearts and souls.
And then people wonder why they are so thought–
less!
-Helen Jacque '37
•
SOUNDS
love the sound of passing feet,
Autos on a busy street
Distant street cars, late at night
Going farther, out of sight.
A rooster's early morning crow,
A dog that would a-hunting go,
A cat meowing 'neath the moon
To a strange and ghostly tune.
The mournful whistle of a train,
The wistful patter of the rain ,
A ticking clock in a quiet room
Bringing day-or-nighttime's doom.
The thrilling strains of martial bands ;
Music played by skillful hands-
All these sounds have come to mean
The very pulse of my life-stream.
- Barbara Kerlin '39
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